Out on the patio we sit,
And the humidity we breathe.
We watch the lightning, crash over Darwin,
Laugh and think,
This is Australia.
Yeah.
Today’s song:
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
Out on the patio we sit,
And the humidity we breathe.
We watch the lightning, crash over Darwin,
Laugh and think,
This is Australia.
Yeah.
Today’s song:
Things to know about Darwin:
1. This is the only job where I have seen all of my workmates in their bathers.
2. This is the only job I’ve ever had where I end up singing Hoodoo Gurus songs in the swimming pool with one of the senior managers.
3. This is the only job I have ever had where I have spoken to First Nations people on a heart level.
4. For two dollars, Coles does a little pack of two tiny cupcakes with hundreds and thousands on top. They are brilliant when you want a piece of cake that don’t want to buy the whole thing.
5. Going to book group on your phone is not the same as having decent Internet and being able to sit on Zoom on a laptop.
6. I miss my cat.
7. There is something very right about having a gin and tonic in the swimming pool, whole singing Hoodoo Gurus songs.
8. I like the books of Elif Shafak. But some are better than others.
9. I am still tired, but not exhausted like yesterday.
10. Dictating your blog into the phone is sometimes the easiest way to do things. The dodgy Internet at the hotel means that typing it on my laptop is very slow.
That will do.
Omnishambles: noun, plural om·ni·sham·bles.(used with a singular verb)
Chiefly British Informal. a situation, especially in politics, in which poor judgment results in disorder or chaos with potentially disastrous consequences. An own goal. A clusterfuck.
I like this word. Justice Michael Lee used it to describe the Lehrmann case.
A complete and utter clusterfuck.
I have no sympathy for the entitled, gormless, rapey prick. He's got what he deserved. He wont be able to work in Australia again, unless his mate, George Brandis gets him a job in Ullan Batar or Timbuktu. Somewhere out of the way, where the NewsCorpse and Seven media empires haven't spread their tentacles. Somewhere, maybe, where entitled, gormless, rapey pricks run the place in their patriarchal communities, where women are fodder for their desires.
Yeah, he got exactly what he deserved. Good luck paying the court fees, Bruce...
I've been following this case with interest for the last few years, for a variety of reason.
The big one being that like one in three women in Australia, I've been sexually assaulted in the past. I've been sexually assaulted and it messed me up. And yes, like with many things, there are scales of sexual assault, from the transgressions of wandering hands or being dry humped on a bus in Florence, to what happened to Brittany Higgins in a Cabinet Minister's office, to the unfortunate women who are taken against their will in violent situations. No matter what it is, it's shit. It's messed up. It's an omnishambles.
So, seeing this piece of a human shit stain get trollied by a high court just was gratifying.
But are there lessons in this?
Of course.
Maybe the big one is teaching men about consent, and what that entails. If it's not an enthusiastic yes, then it's a no. If they can't provide an answer because the person you're with can't enunciate an answer whether they be drunk, drugged, overwrought - what ever that may be - it's a no. Keep your hands to yourself and you dick in your pants.
And men, if you see bad behaviour, for fuck's sake, call it out. If your mate is being inappropriate / violent / overly antagonistic to a woman - or anybody really, call it out. He's not your mate. He's an arsehole.
We have to start somewhere. This has gone on long enough. Violence against women that is.
In the meantime, I'll be popping into Coles to read the front page of The Australian. Janet Albrechtson must be crying into her Cab Sav. What's the bet there's no mention of the case? Sky News was talking about how the case showed that the Liberal Party were not covering things up. Like really, that's what you're taking away from all this? (There is a reason I don't read Murdoch 'media' publications. They're delulu.)
Again.
I am currently on the plane about an hour into the flight. According to the map, we’re somewhere roughly over Broken Hill.
Dinner, a chicken pasta salad, was very tasty. I had my ritual Bloody Mary in the Qantas Club with a colleague before the flight. I’ve also had a can of ginger beer to wash down said chicken pasta salad.
It’s a full flight.
I’m seated next to a boomer man-spreader with no concept of personal space. I’m next to the window. He has taken possession of both arm rests. I’m not in the mood for an argument because of course, he’s definitely entitled to both armrests. My back brain is seeking revenge.
On the good side of things, I should have the book group book finished by the end of the flight.
Such is life.
It's a joy to be writing something and not watching the television. Some man went berserk at a shopping centre with a knife, killing six people and injuring many others, including a baby, before the police shot and killed him. All this happened in Sydney. But it's the last thing you want to hear about. Anyway, I'm trying to distract myself, because I don't need to hear all about this. These unfortunate occurrences normally happen overseas. You can only listen and watch for so long.
Regardless, I'm back up to Darwin tomorrow night. Get away from the madness.
Anyway, on with this week's questions, brought to us by Bev at Sunday Stealing.
1. What have you been the most ignorant about in your life?
This may sound awful, but I'm pretty ignorant of what is really going in between the Palestinians and Israelis. I know enough, I know that it's horrific, and I get the geopolitical scene, but other than it's a terrible situation, I won't be drawn into conversations on the topic. I don't know enough. I have Jewish, Israeli and Palestinian friends. I don't weigh in other than not condoning the violence.
2. What in the world would you most like to see protected?
The natural environment. We don't do anywhere near enough to protect the planet.
3. How do you waste the biggest chunk of time each day or week?
Does work count? It's that and doom scrolling.
4. Who is the scariest person you've ever known?
I know a lot of scary people. They are all wonderful people, but they can be scary. The women I went on the writer's retreat with in October - all wonderful people. All really scary. A group like that could run the world.
5. What was the job you enjoyed the least?
I've had a couple of dodgy contracts in the last ten years, at two of which, I was bullied. It doesn't happen very often thank goodness, and the bullies were dealt with, but I didn't like that at all. Once you realise what is going on you can do something about it. Horrible people.
6. What thing about your family are you the proudest of?
We're South Australian. Not just Australian, but we came to the free settled colony of South Australia in the 1850s and have been there ever since. It's a state thing. Like coming from Texas or Essex.
7. What kind of power do you want most?
I think I would like to power to manipulate time so that I could have a couple of extra hours in the day to write. That would be great.
8. What's the best piece of advice you ever received?
Do no give a toss about what other people think of you. It's none of your business anyway and a waste of thoughts. Get on living your own life and don't worry about what others are thinking of you. There's just no point.
9. What's the thing you know the most about?
I know a lot about the following:
10. When were you most moved by a ceremony?
I remember being very moved at my friend Alice's Australian Citizenship ceremony. Yes, it was held at the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG) which seats 100,000 people, but it was very cool. There was this section where they went into what it means to be Australian. Myself and another friend who was sitting with me were in tears. They did a really good job of it.
The other ceremony I witnessed was last year in Darwin, where a Larrakia elder gave a wonderful Welcome to Country. The Welcome that Richard Fejo gave us was less effusive than this one, but it got me in the heart. Working regularly on Larrakia land, I'm understanding a lot more of the importance of Country. (I was born on Kaurna land and live on Wurundjeri land - and acknowledging this is really important.)
11. What is the best gift you ever gave to someone?
I've given various people garden gnomes for their birthdays and Christmas. They are little protectors, even if others don't hold these views.
12. What is the cruelest thing you've ever suffered?
Oh, that would be being born with knocked knees and Achilles tendons that were too short. Made my childhood hell going in and out of hospital until I was eleven.
13. What's the single nastiest thing you've ever done to someone?
I try to be kind at all times and other than the odd prank, I try to leave a very gentle footprint. I never mean to be nasty or cruel.
14. What problem do you think is most common among friends your age?
At the moment, friends of my age are all having issues with aging parents. This can be as small as things like helping them set up their computers, to big things like seeing them into care and dealing with them dying. I'm thankful my folks are in very good nick.
15. What is the strongest craving you get?
Sugar. Lethal, insidious stuff.
Film Number 12 of 2024
The Movie: Monkey Man
The Cinema: Hoyts Victoria Gardens
Stars: 5
It's Friday night. Jay chose the film. She does not want to see the Amy Winehouse biopic for her own reasons, and that would have been my choice. She said that for what was on offer, both being action films, this looked like a better offering than something called Civil War, which I have no desire to see. I could always walk out if I didn't like it.
So, we toddled along to see this film of which I knew next to nothing, other than it was written and directed by Dev Patel of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Lion and Slumdog Millionaire fame. The film was also based loosely on the story of the Hindu god Hanuman, the monkey god, who like Icarus flew a bit too close to the sun.
And WOW!
I will also preface this by saying I'm not really into violent films, but this is different. It's up there with Kill Bill Volume One. There's highly choreographed fight scenes. There's buckets of blood. There's a dog - but only for a little bit of the film. And a tuk tuk, which is also there for comic relief. And a character only known as the Kid, who is a raging man who learns how to really fight. Oh my.
We start off meeting the Kid (Patel) who's trying to get ahead. He puts himself in one of the back street fighting rings of what we believe to be Mumbai. A fall guy, he is the one who always loses.
But the Kid is crafty, and persistent, as we learn in fragments about his past. He manages to get a job with the local cartel - that's the best way to put it. Run by one Queenie (Ashwini Kalsekar), she has the police and the politicians eating out of her hands. The Kid starts to work his way up the food chain, doing odd jobs and waiting tables, while doing some more salubrious odd jobs with Alphonso (Pitobash), Queenie's drug dealer and handyman.
It is only after the Kid's problematic attempt to kill the chief of police does the redemption arc of the film begin. Saved from certain death by the Hijra, a group of transexuals who live in a temple does the Kid begin to heal and grown stronger. This leads to the mother of all fight scenes.
Yes, this really is not a film I would normally like.
But it is AMAZING. Very bloody, very violent, but incredible.
This is obviously Dev Patel's passion project. He wrote the screenplay, directed and starred in this piece of amazing cinema using a totally Indian cast. If you dig a bit further into the reviews, you find out that this was made on a shoestring budget, with Indian actors. It began filming in India when COVID was starting to bite, after which the filming continued in Indonesia.
I loved the cinematography as well. Having seen a tiny piece of India, the film encapsulates the difference between rich and poor, the haves and have nots, and those with power, and those who have none.
Other things to know. Jordan Peele, of Get Out fame is on the production team, and he seems to have had some sway in the making of this.
I also loved the cinematography. There were a lot of dream-like sequences, and quite a bit of the raw, real India, which tourist rarely see.
But this is truly Dev Patel's film. It's brutal. It's very bloody and violent. It's got an interesting and engaging story. And it's strangely emotional, something you never expect from an action film.
It's also best seen on a big screen when you can take in the film in all its unrelenting action glory.
This is so unexpected. I loved this film. It's very unlike me. I'll be thinking about it for a long time to come.
Watch out for the BAFTA nomination for this one.
Melbourne International Comedy Festival
Wil Anderson - Willegitimate
Comedy Theatre, Exhibition Street
Until 22 April
Racing out of work at 5 pm is never a bad thing. I'd put on some makeup, put street clothes on and meet my mate Alix for the 6 pm Wil Anderson show. It's a school night. We've got two shows to see. I let Alix choose the shows - she's more in the know than me (although I was the one insisting on the Shit-Faced Shakespeare show we saw later in the evening.)
Two very different shows.
Wil Anderson was the more introspective of the two. He was also very relatable. As a man in his early fifties, he looked at many of the things we of the Generation X brigade have front of mine - that being aging parents, aging ourselves, and the regrets which we have, and don't have.
Anderson and I have a bit in common, not that we're Generation Xers with low-grade mental health issues. Anderson was very open with his struggles with depression and him seeking help - never a bad thing for a man to talk about.
He talked about his coming from a small country town in Gippsland where his folks were dairy farmers (tick). He spoke of the isolation of coming from the country (tick). He centered his monologue around his relationship with his father. A taciturn baby boomer who never spoke of his emotions (tick). All very recognisable.
He also looked at what it is to age in Australia - and went into great detail about the dreaded 'poo test'.
You know about the poo test... Anderson made what is already surreal even funnier.
While it's not a show where you're going to lose bladder control from laughing, Wil Anderson is very entertaining. Return members of the audience would recognise some of his standard jokes, often at the expense of Adam Hills, of whom he's a dead ringer, or vice versa. Have a look.